The Sleepover

“What are you guys in town for?”

“Well were from here. Were here for a wedding.” The man standing to the right tells me. The man slightly to the left and slightly behind him gives him a look.

“Uh yeah… His wedding… He’s getting married tomorrow.”

They both smile and I look up from checking them in and congratulate him.

“Well thank you” He says putting his head down to fill out the reg card, bashfully.

The one behind him voice booming tells me” Yea were celebrating his last night as a single man tonight.”

“Oh? Going out on the town?” I ask.

The clock ticks louder somewhere behind me. The seconds collecting like the nervous sweat on my brow. I say a silent prayer, knowing its only God who save me from the horror that could take place here tonight.

Please don’t throw a party here

Please don’t throw a party here

Please don’t throw a party here

AMEN

He smiles wider than could be comfortably possible.

“No…”

It’s suddenly hotter.

“… we’re having a slumber party”

Hmm

“Oh wow! That sounds like a lot of fun!”

Minutes after receiving their keys they stomp across the lobby with 2 more men in tow. Every single one of them has a case of beer and exactly one Wawa sub.

A bunch of 20 something year old men

a bunch of alcohol

barely any food

I would be less stressed if the devil himself has strolled through my lobby.

Later upstairs, they all fall flat on their backs onto the bed, exhausted after their pillow fight.

Tim rolls over to face Adam.

“Do you really love Amanda?”

“Uh yea that’s why I’m marring her, dipshit”

“Yea but like how can you be sure? I’m just curious. It seems so wild to me to think there’s someone out there I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Does your girlfriend know that?” Ray asks from the other bed, rolling over onto his stomach.

“I’ve never said anything… should I?”

“Man, you’ll know when you know. I really love Allison, but it’s more than that, and you understand what that is until you do.” Adam says.

Alan sits up on the bed and says,” Ok enough with all that gay shit. I’ve got something really fun for us to do.”

Alan is Amanda’s brother. No one here really knows or likes Alan.

He goes to his bag and pulls out a wooden black box.

“This was my great great grandmothers. Everyone says she was a witch.” Alan explains as every one reads the words “Hasbro Special Edition Ouija Board” printed clearly on the front of the box.

He opens it up as everyone get on the floor and sit around him in a circle.

“Okay everyone place your hand here. Does anyone have any questions they’d like to ask?”

Tim closes his eyes and asks the first question.

“Will Adam and Amanda be together for the rest of their lives?”

Alan gives him a disappointed look.

“That’s the best you can do?”

“Alan, relax. This is just….”

Adam gasps as the pointer starts moving under his had.

They watch as it glides and stops over “yes”

The whole rooms starts cheering and high fiving.

“Wow I am so happy for you, man!” Ray shouts.

Alan rolls his eyes.

“Whatever… One of you homos probably moved it…. Now someone ask a real question.”

“Will Tim ever get married?” Rays asks, staring hard at Alan, with his hands on the pointer.

“yes”

Another round of high fives and cheering.

Adam smiling says, “Okay, okay… I’ve got another one.”

Everyone puts their hands on the board.

“Has Tim met his future wife yet?”

Alan rolls his eyes as the pointer starts moving again and lands on “yes”

Everyone starts cheering again and Ray start in saying, “Okay I’ve got another one!”

Alan, of course, interrupts, “No you guys are done. I’m asking the next question. Put your fucking hand on the board.”

Everyone humors him.

Dramatically, Alan closes his eyes.

“Is there any evil spirits staying in the hotel tonight?”

The board starts shaking and the pointer starts moving completely untouched.

Adam reads the letters it’s pointing out.

“O….N….L….Y”

“Only” Alan announces.

“Y…..O…..U”

“Only you!” Ray says.

“Yea we can all read, asshole!” Alan shouts through there laughter.

Alan stands up.

“Whatever. This is fake anyway,” He says kicking the board against the wall.

“Wow. You know you have to say bye when you’re done or you let whatever spirits we were just talking to stay with us.”

“It’s not fucking real!” Alan shouts.

“Okay man just chill… let’s just relax. Well pop some popcorn and watch a movie. P.S. I Love You is on HBO tonight…” Adam suggests.

The phone rings.

They all turn and look at it.

“Do you think it’s the spirits calling…” Rays says wiggling his fingers in the air and moving his eyebrows up and down.

Adam rolls his eyes as he picks up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Noelle from the front desk. I’m getting some noise complaints. Could you please keep it down?”

“Oh yea. Sorry about that… No problem.”

“Thank you” I say as I hang up.

Adam turns to Alan.

“Front desk says we’re making too much noise. Let’s settle down.”

“Ok, I’ve got an idea. A nice quiet game… let’s do Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.” Tim says.

Everyone looks at him quizzically.

“Come on, I always heard about girls doing it at slumber parties when we were in school. It sounds fun. Let’s try.”

“I think that’s a great idea Tim! And it’s my bachelors party so we are doing it.. Alan lay flat on the floor.”

“Why me?”

“Because I said so. ”

Begrudgingly he gets on the floor as the other men surround him.

Tim sits behind Alans head.

“Okay put two fingers under Alan and chant, “Light as a feather stiff as a board” and we should be able to lift him up like that I guess… Alright lets start, I guess.

Light as a feather, stiff as a board

Light as a feather, stiff as a board

Light as a feather stiff as a board

Alan is suddenly floating. The men stare wide eyed at one another. Alan looks around shocked.

“What did you do to me? Put me back down!”

“Uh uh I don’t know how… I didn’t think we’d get his far.” Tim sputters.

Adam puts both of his hands on his stomach and tries pushing down. Alan isn’t budging.

Ray stands.

“I can’t deal with this shit,” he says as he starts walking toward the door.

He stands in horror as the door creaks open.

The devil walks in.

He looks down at Alan.

“You know, you really shouldn’t mess with the spirits, but if you do… you really shouldn’t kick them and show them such poor hospitality.”

He snaps his fingers and Alan’s entire body ignites in flame.

All the other men start screaming.

The devil laughs and snaps his fingers again.

He is gone and Alan drops to the floor unscathed but shaken.

I stand in the open doorway, looking in.

“Um could you like not summons Satan to the hotel and again could you keep the noise level down. The next time I come up here I’m going to have ask you guys to leave.”

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