6 Reasons to Delete “Hotel Tonight” Now

My pal pulled it out so swiftly I hardly saw it coming but there it was on the table, and I was amazed not just by its size but by its texture and cool curves too. How many apps you got on that thing? I asked. None, he said.

Wait, none?

The mere fact that a first model iPhone is functioning in 2019 is remarkable, but you know when you come to think of it most apps are basically worthless, or ninety percent hype and ten percent meh.

Put “Hotel Tonight” somewhere south of meh. And here are six reasons why, assuming you bothered to upload it before, you need to delete it right now.

1. They borrowed some ad-style copy from a Prince song probably without actually asking Prince. That is a wtf, cop-out, you-are-going-to-hell-now offense if ever there was one.

2. So yeah folks, Tripquake tried this app out in the field on multiple occasions in the one American city where you would think it should come in handy the most: New York City. But wefound better prices on sites like Expedia.com and booking.com. There were no deals, last-minute or otherwise. Just dashed expectations. We pinned hopes (not all of them, obviously, but godammit yeah, some: they’re the ones who teased the sweet deals, after all, then failed to deliver)  on this waste of space and ended up in, um, Queens. Ever been to delightful Queens in the middle of fucking January? Yeah, about as delightful as you’re thinking. QFD, man!

3. The “instant gratification” element approximates bait-and-switch when a fair price fails to turn up — regardless of the lack of a guarantee to find said fair price. Your time still has value, and we personally guarantee you’ll never get that time back.

4. Airbnb, the most certifiably predatory and endlessly obnoxious fake travel business in the industry, has just gobbled up Hotel Tonight. Yay? No. Bah!

5. Algorithms are tricks made for computers, kids, not travel.

6. When President Warren gets around to busting up Google and Facebook, Airbnb will be next on the chopping block. Which now includes Hotel Tonight. So make room on your phone for something that is actually worth it, like an actual hotel review of a hotel actually worth staying in. And delete Hotel Tonight, pronto. Oh — you’re welcome!


Featured photo by Arthur St. Thomas

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