50 elected MPs started off their legislative job by dining in Hotels – a positive way forward!

The people of Solomon Islands are witnessing their elected leaders hard at work in fancy hotels in Honiara. They are doing great things even before they are sworn in, and weeks before parliament starts. That’s an amazing start, right? After a week of back-rubbings and endless speeches and statements from their leaders; many of whom spent the past few years screwing up the country, these tired tobacco-chewing leaders finally sat down for the best meal of their life! It’s Friday!


The Largest Asian Bank in Solomon Islands

Witnesses told us (because there were no journalists to report to) that they watched these betel-nut addicts drinking and dining; devouring pork, ham, fish, and veges and washing their expensive meals down with exquisite imported wines and premium SB and VBs. With their fat bellies filled and stretched to the max, they sat back sipping wine and drinking boos watching gorgeous Polynesian and Micronesian female dancers swaying their half-naked olive bodies here and there to Tahitian and Cook Islands tunes stolen from YouTube!

For the freshmen politicians – this is it! The promises of a wonderful corrupt life ahead where the need to form meaningful legislation comes last, while sex, boos, and prostitution – at the expense of Taiwanese and Indonesian taxpayers – come first! One of the waiters reported, “We’ve seen evidence of this in past live streams of Parliament debates where MPs were snoring away after nights out with babes half their age!” The man who requested his identity be withheld for fear of being personally attacked by Sogavare, said he voted twice for Hon. Ete. He explained that while the most lively members of the bunch sat there drooling and admiring those dancers, others were sitting there motionless as if they were contemplating how they would spend their first RCDF payouts – ‘hotels or constituency?’ “What do you think?” one of our reporters asked. The man said, “I’m pretty sure they will be back here in the next few months.”

In a country where medical dispensaries are devoid of much-needed medication, because of Hou’s government’s irresponsible budgeting where student tuition money and medical funds were slashed in his budget, these politicians don’t give a rat-tail about anything else, but the spoils of hotel life – a life that is out of the reach of ordinary Solomon Islanders. And certainly, these politicians are banking on the stupidity of the voters who will, again, overlook their corruption and send them back in again. Sogavare can attest to this!

A report by an insider revealed that in the next few hours, a coalition from one of these hotel-hideout gangs will form the government and the election of the PM will follow suit. Whether these farmers-turned politicians know what they are doing, or not, it is Solomon Islands, so who cares?

We congratulate our MPs for a job well done. It’s time to enjoy those Taiwanese taxpayer dollars! Yay!!!

This entry was posted in English. Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.